Discussing Adoption With the Birthfather

Deciding to place your child for adoption is one of the hardest choices in the world. Parents who are struggling with this issue go through a roller coaster of emotions before making a final decision.

Typically, both the mother and father are involved in any decision regarding their child. However, cases that deal with adoption are usually more complicated. There may be one parent who wants to place the child up for adoption while the other doesn’t. Or, one parent may be left in the dark completely regarding this situation. Whatever the case may be, communication is key to making the best decision for both the parents and the child.

In most cases, the mother is responsible for breaking the news to the child’s father with the hopes that a decision can be made. Oftentimes, that conversation is difficult. If you’re in this situation, consider these helpful tips that will make having this difficult conversation easier.

Choose the Best Timing

This is a difficult conversation to have. Therefore, choosing the best time to have it is key to avoiding complications. One of the best ways to do this is to schedule a time to talk. Let him know that you have something important to discuss and that you need to meet in person to discuss it. By setting up a time, the father will automatically know that the topic at hand is serious.

Be Compassionate

The child at hand is both a product of the mother and father. Therefore, the father may believe he has just as much say in the future of the child as you do. Keep that in mind as you discuss the options at hand. Take into account his feelings in the same manner that you would want him to respect yours.

In addition, be compassionate during your conversation. Seek understanding if the father has a different opinion from yours. This is natural; especially if the father wants to keep the child. By seeking understanding, this will eliminate the potential for arguing or blow-ups. This will help you both to make a solid choice that is free of unnecessary conflict.

Bring the Facts

When placing a child for adoption, there are many factors that need to be considered. To begin, you have to choose the type of family you want for your child. Then you have to determine the best agencies to go through. Bring this information to the conversation to let him know that you’ve done your research. This will help him possibly see your side without feeling as if this is an impulse decision.

Learning how to communicate with your child’s birthfather is one of the best ways to make a wise decision for both you and the child. Remember, keep your composure as you discuss this difficult topic and seek understanding. By doing so, you’ll have the tools needed to have a productive conversation.