How it all began...
Choosing the Right Path with Angel Adoption
From a very young age, Tara knew that pregnancy might not be a part of her future due to medical complications. However, adoption was a concept close to her heart, having seen its beautiful impact firsthand in her family. Her stepfather had adopted her, and her cousin was also adopted. This deeply personal connection to adoption shaped her and her husband Mitch's outlook on family—they knew early in their marriage that biology was not the essence of parental love.
When the time came to grow their family, Tara and Mitch chose to work with Angel Adoption. They were referred by someone who had a positive experience with the agency, and the affordable cost compared to other agencies made the decision even easier. What truly resonated with them was Angel Adoption’s humanistic approach, which aligned with their values and desires for the process.
Embarking on the Adoption Journey
Despite their excitement, Tara and Mitch braced for a long journey; they were under the impression that finding a match could take years. However, life had a pleasant surprise in store for them—they were chosen by a birthmother just three months into their journey! The rapid progression from hopeful candidates to soon-to-be parents was exhilarating.
Their friends and family were thrilled about their decision to adopt, diving into research to support Tara and Mitch throughout the process. This collective enthusiasm and support were pivotal as they navigated the emotional journey of adoption.
Knowing the birthmother chose three families to communicate with added more nerves for them moving forward. They chose to believe that whatever was meant to happen would happen and enjoyed their time getting to know her. When they got the news that she was no longer going to be communicating with the other families they were flooded with happiness and joy.
Forming a Bond with the Birthmother
Meeting the birthmother for the first time was a pivotal moment. Tara and Mitch traveled to meet her, partaking in significant milestones like a 3-D ultrasound. They even celebrated her mother's birthday together, which helped ease the nervousness of the first meeting and solidified a burgeoning bond. The time they spent with the birthmother's family in those early days laid a strong foundation for a lasting relationship.
When the call came that the birthmother was having contractions, Tara was able to be in the delivery room, sharing this profound moment with the birthmother’s mother. The experience of meeting their son, Jasper, for the first time was beyond words—Tara describes it as "unreal" and a moment of "pure bliss." The birthmother’s initial skin-to-skin contact followed by Tara holding Jasper solidified their new reality: Jasper was their son. There are times when things do not feel real and they forget they will get to be Jasper’s parents forever.
Their relationship with Jasper’s birthmother remains open, though communication has naturally decreased over time. This dynamic is respected by all parties, understanding that the birthmother's experience as an adoptee herself influenced her wishes for Jasper’s future—to be there for him and answer any questions he might have as he grows up.
Challenges Along the Way
One of the biggest challenges was the inherent lack of control over many aspects of the process, from the information shared by the birthmother to having no control over her choices during pregnancy. Tara and Mitch learned to trust the process and embrace the unknown, focusing on what they could influence—their readiness and emotional resilience.
Tara’s key piece of advice for others considering adoption is to seek support from those who have been through it. She stresses the importance of controlling one’s mindset and letting go of what cannot be controlled. Strong support from a partner and the broader community is crucial. They remain so thankful to Jasper’s birthmother and are so glad to have her as part of their family.