My Adoption StoryEmily

Single Parent by Choice

Everyone wants that traditional marriage, white picket fence, and kids running in the backyard. In real life, not everyone is destined for that. When I wanted a family, I simply didn’t meet the man who I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I believe in God’s natural way to create a child, but I also believe a woman can create a family and become a mother in the way she feels is the most natural. For me, adoption was the most natural way for me to construct a family of my own.

I was excited and nervous and had butterflies in my stomach when I finally decided to partner with Angel to embark on becoming an adoptive parent. In my heart, I hoped that even as a single parent by choice, I’d be treated the same way as any other adoptive parent. When I found Angel, I believed they would support my journey every step of the way.

Self-Doubt and Waiting

As a single mother, the hardest part of the journey was self-doubt. The adoption process was filled with waiting—waiting to connect with an expectant mother, waiting for the baby to be born, and waiting for the rights to be signed over. You never know whether you will succeed. Without a spouse to provide emotional support, I was anxious during these waiting periods. My mom and sisters supported me as much as they could, but my faith in God ultimately helped to pull me through. I just kept praying and reading single mom success stories on Angel’s website. I knew God had a plan for me.

My first two connections seemed great. I spoke with and connected with the expectant mothers and felt we shared a bond. I flew down to Florida and Kansas, respectively, to meet them, but these connections didn’t work out.

At times, I wondered whether it was because I was a single parent that somehow my path to becoming a parent would be littered with obstacles. Whenever I had these negative thoughts of self-doubt, I just prayed for faith and God’s plan.

Unexpected Success While Waiting

Then one day I was chosen again by an expectant mother, this time one who wanted a closed adoption. We texted and felt a connection with each other, but she never wanted to meet. I didn’t press the issue. I knew this could be my last opportunity and kept hoping this time would be a success. Without face-to-face meetings and heart to hearts, it was hard to tell what the expectant mother was thinking. I had to take her words over text as the truth, so I did. I had faith in her and the process.

On the day she went into labor, the doctors had decided to induce her. With a three-hour drive, I immediately hopped into my car and drove to the hospital. The hospital didn’t allow visitors, so I spent the whole day in the car in a parking lot, waiting for the phone call that would let me know my son was born and I could go into the hospital. Knowing it wouldn’t be a good idea to spend the whole night in my car, I finally checked into a hotel.

Just after 1 a.m., I got a call to come to the hospital. I checked out after my few-hour stay and drove back to the hospital. The staff at the hospital prepared a room for me so that I could stay with my son. After 3:30 in the morning, the nurse handed him to me. I was simply amazed. He was so perfect and so calm. He just looked at me. I felt such peace and love wash over me.

My Faith Affirmed

When we finally got back home, it took me a few days to mentally digest the fact that I was now a mother to this beautiful newborn. Sometimes I wish I could share my excitement with his birthmother, but I understand where she’s coming from. As the days pass, I continue to pray for the day when she will want to contact us. On my end, I’m leaving the door open for her.

The adoption process has truly affirmed my faith in both God and myself. As a single mother by choice, I know the journey will at times be difficult, but it’s so worth it. If I’m financially able to, I would love to adopt more children. To other singles who wish to adopt, adoption is a great choice to have the family you have always wanted. When doubts creep up during the process, simply keep hoping and don’t give up. It does happen. It happened for me, and it can happen for you.